Still working on categories...

just a note that I have not yet finished going through all my previous posts to add categories, so if you're looking at those category lists they're in no way completed ;-)

An Important Realization

I had an important realization about Guiding a few weeks ago - like the stereotypical light bulb going on above one's head in a cartoon.

I had been feeling quite guilty at various times that I'm not more active in Guiding at the moment, but I just haven't had much motivation or desire to get more active. Sure, I've made a few attempts to contact people about possible ways I could help (that went nowhere), but it really hasn't been a pressing issue for me.

I've been on medical leave from Training for 2 years now. If anyone reading knows me from Guiding, they might be wondering what exactly the medical issue is - if only there was just one, it's a bit more complex than that. Shortly before I started my leave of absence, I had an ectopic pregnancy, one which required ongoing monitoring for several months to ensure everything was back to "normal" (whatever that is). I thought I was fine, and agreed to do a training session for my Area - unfortunately I hadn't recognized how incredibly stressed I was over the entire pregnancy issue, and probably shouldn't have been doing any "extra" stuff at that point. That and with the "new" (not so new now) Leadership Development Program you can end up with Guiders who only have a few months' experience taking a Stage 2 training, whereas my interests in training involve trying to get Guiders to look more in-depth at their experiences and the Guiding movement in general - that doesn't work for Stage 2 anymore :-( . Oh, and I didn't push to get an LCD projector but went with overheads as I thought the overhead projector was readily available - after I spilled all my overheads on the floor during the session I was leading, I had a panic attack (not quite sure how I got through the session actually, guess lots of practice at feeling panicky at times through medical school helped).

Since then, while I've managed quite well to deal with my anxiety issues regarding work and infertility and life in general (and it basically is no problem at all for the vast majority of the time), even the thought of doing a training for Guiding still causes major anxiety for me. And, actually, the thought of calling some of the people involved in Training (or to become otherwise involved in Guiding) causes me major anxiety - so I e-mail instead (too bad some people aren't as devoted to e-mail...).

That had been puzzling me quite a bit (and making me feel somewhat guilty, as I mentioned above) - I'd been able to figure out it wasn't the training aspect, as I did computer training at my previous clinic without problems. And it isn't the idea of phoning people - I do that all the time at work. And it wasn't necessarily Guiding in general, because I've had encounters /e-mails/ calls with other friends from Guiding without any issues (plus I read the various newsletters and websites to stay up to date). So what was it that caused all this anxiety about doing something in Guiding?

So that was the realization (revelation if you will, but that sounds way too presumptuous and important) I had a few weeks ago. It occurred to me that the idea of working with other people's kids (or even just working in an organization supporting other people's kids) is just too painful for me at this time, when I have not been able to start my own family, and have been coming to terms with the fact that it might not ever happen. Still hopeful of course, but we realized that maybe it's better to go on with life and enjoy life for a while without worrying about all the fertility stuff - and delaying means I'm getting older and potentially less chance then of getting pregnant... Suddenly when I realized this, it all made total sense - and I felt so much better. I can now accept (and not feel guilty) that I'm only a member-at-large of Guiding at the moment, and hopefully at some point in the future things will change and I can do more, but it isn't right now and I don't know when it will be.

(and I felt that by posting all that here, it would seem more real and concrete, and I can remind myself of it because it's in writing :-) ).

But that doesn't mean I don't like to hear from friends in Guiding - if any are reading please feel free to contact me by leaving a comment or e-mail me at guidemd at hotmail dot com - I'd love to hear from you :-) .

Film Directors

Some of the most recent films I've seen have been chosen because of their directors ... one new, the others "catching up" on films I'd never seen previously.

I went to see The Science of Sleep (2006) a few weeks ago, a film written and directed by Michel Gondry (the director of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind). I had only seen Eternal Sunshine for the first time a few months ago, and thought it was wonderful - so when I saw the preview for Gondry's latest film (before Little Miss Sunshine) I figured I'd have to go see this one as well. I thought it was a fascinating look at the idea of blurring between sleep and wakefulness, and some of the effects during the dream sequences were neat. Towards the end though, I started feeling a bit frustrated because some of Stéphane's actions just seemed incredibly stupid - I wondered why couldn't he properly sort out what was sleep and what was real. Then I started thinking about Stéphane in the context of mental illness, that is, that he had a distorted perception of reality - and then the film made a lot more sense to me overall. Looking at the reviews on IMDB, it seemed as though it got either 8-10/10 ratings or 0-1/10 ratings (love it or hate it) - for me, it was almost both during the same film (but the frustration was short-lived, so overall I enjoyed it and I was glad I saw it).

I watched Mystery Train (1989) the other day (VHS from the library), the first film I'd seen by director Jim Jarmusch. I had been told about his penchant for panning shots - certainly it was a good way in this film to convey the mood (desolation?) of inner-city Memphis. I liked the technique how 3 intertwining yet never-really-meeting stories were told one after the other - I first thought that it was the next day when it switched from "Far from Yokohama" to "Ghost", until we saw the same hotel, the same song/same time on the radio, and so on, to realize that it was actually taking place at the same time as the first story (and the third story also taking place at the same time).

And while I had several friends who were big Twin Peaks fans when it was originally on TV, while we were undergrad university students, I never actually got around to watching it, nor anything else by David Lynch until now. The other day I watched Blue Velvet (1986) - "disturbingly good". I think disturbing in the sense that if you watch a movie about drugs/gangs/crime you'd expect certain levels of violence - but it seems more out of place with white picket fences and roses, and wholesome kiddies crossing the street in a small town, as in the opening shots of this film.

Today I watched Mulholland Dr. (2001) - wow! I was captivated throughout, at the end I got lost and confused, yet still appreciated the artistry and film-making throughout. Then when I read some "hints" online and realized I'd missed the significance of the opening scenes, it made more sense - overall, amazing!

(Thanks to Chris for the David Lynch and Jim Jarmusch recommendations).

Blogger beta

So I just upgraded to their new program, which means I can categorize my blog posts ... trying to go back and do so for the previous ones but haven't got to all of them yet. And I've played around with the formatting now that it's easier to do so.

Article about IVF coming to Edmonton Clinic

This article last week in the Journal was interesting, because we'd decided to put any fertility treatments on hold for a while and enjoy life instead, rather than continuing to get all caught up in the stress (such as mentioned in the article). We're planning a trip to France for July to see the Tour de France and do some cycling ... and then we'll re-evaluate the "having kids" thing afterwards. But it's good to know that the IVF Clinic here should be up and running by then...

Edmonton International Film Festival

Ok, so the EIFF was actually over a month ago now, but in the meantime I crashed and burned and then got sick (just recovering now), so here's a few words about the films I saw there.

La Tourneuse de Pages -The Page Turner (2006, France) - quite intriguing to me, having experienced a lot of piano festivals, adjudications, and performances (piano and other). Though I can't say that any negative comments from an adjudicator ever left me so permanently scarred that I had to carry on an obsessive campaign to (psychologically) destroy their life...

El Violin (2005, Mexico) - I picked this because I thought the contrast between the music focus and the guerilla rebellion would be interesting, and it was. Quite graphic and disturbing in parts though.

Ten Canoes (2006, Australia) - This was recommended to me by an Australian friend, I had to skip half of my French class to see it, but I'm glad I did - my favourite of the festival. Mainly in an aboriginal language, with an English narrator/voice-over, it was an interesting look at some of the aboriginal ways and myths, and much different than anything else I've seen. The contrast between the "current" storyline (which was actually far in the past) and the "mythical" storyline, where one was in colour and one in black-and-white, was well-done. And I enjoyed the scenery/landscape shots as well. (though it wasn't quite "terrorists in canoes", which is how Chris advised me to try to sell it to my husband - I went with a friend instead).

Riding Alone for Thousands of Miles (2005, China) - This was my friend's pick, and I enjoyed it. I had the advantage of remembering a little Japanese, enough to know just how bad (and amusing) Lingo's Japanese translations and accent really were. The story was touching, but not a happy Hollywood ending - though in a sense, the ending was happy in that many characters learned more about themselves.

"Oprah Effect" in the US is "Comedy Satire" effect in Canada?

This article in the Journal the other day was interesting, apparently there's a study that those "who watch daytime talk show coverage of election issues and candidates...are more likely to vote for the candidate best aligned with their views than those who didn't". Meaning that even if the talk show seems all fluff and frivolity, somehow the candidate's message is getting through.

However, a pollster in Canada pointed out that that approach wouldn't work well here.

"Canadians -- in this more egalitarian, questioning-of-authority culture -- desperately want to get on a show where they can be teased," Adams says. "In Canada, the currency is irony, humour and self-deprecation. It communicates a kind of intelligence and self-confidence."

Therefore, the Canadian equivalent would be the comedy satire programs such as Mercer, 22 Minutes, and the Air Farce... (hmm, what does that say about me that I watch those shows each week and not much other TV?)

On a somewhat similar note, I want to know why Shaw Cable doesn't carry LeapTV ;-).

(I should mention that Todd Babiak has been my favourite Journal columnist for some time, I have The Garneau Block, just haven't read it yet but look forward to it).

Biking weekend - good and not so good ...

I was pumped about riding after finishing a 4 hour clinic with Alex Stieda, former Tour yellow jersey wearer (1st North American actually), on Saturday -
and best of all it was free. (My city hosted the World Masters Games last year, not sure if there was leftover money or something, but they had a series of "Masters Training Clinics" in various sports).

I was a bit nervous ahead of time , hoping that everyone else wasn't super-experienced/strong/super fast riders and that I'd feel out of place ... especially when the first few who arrived were talking about their Ironman tri experiences, but then a lady arrived in jeans, so I knew I wouldn't be the weakest in the group.

The clinic covered a lot of areas - climbing, corners, descending, sprinting, riding in a group - got more experience and some tips, improved my confidence (I only got my road bike in May so still a little nervous sometimes on the skinny tires), overall a great experience. And "Alex" was very friendly and made everyone feel comfortable (even the lady in jeans who ended up walking up most of the hills, she almost went home before it started but he encouraged her to stay and at the end she felt she had learned a lot).

Not sure if I'm more excited about the clinic itself or the fact I've now met and ridden with a former Tour yellow jersey! There's a good account on Cycling News by Davis Phinney about Stieda's ride in 1986 that got him the jersey.

Then today (Sunday), Ed and I went riding with a friend from prior running clinics. It was a nice fall day, sunny and warm, and we had a really good ride. Then something happened that I'm sure looked an awful lot worse from the perspective of those around me than it seemed from my perspective - my first (and hopefully last) bike crash into a car. It happened so fast I'm not entirely sure what all transpired, but I'm fairly sure that the reason I didn't stop before crossing a street was because I thought the car was not turning my way by their signals. By the time I realized that they *were* in fact coming my way, I was almost but not quite able to stop in time - my front wheel hit the car and turned and I went down. I was pretty quickly able to get off the road to avoid any further problems - I'm sure the driver of the car was pretty traumatized but Ed was able to reassure them I was ok. And I was - gash on one leg, bruising/muscle strains on the other leg. Amazingly enough, my bike was fine (Ed thought from his perspective that I'd actually hit the car myself and my bike had been run over).

To tell the truth, I think this is much less of a confidence-shaker than some previous crashes when I really wasn't doing anything much - then you start to wonder "how can I do difficult stuff if I crash on the easy stuff?". Whereas with this, I think blame was on both sides (I should have stopped to be sure where the car was going, and they should have signalled better and not have been going so fast), but at least there was a reason for the crash so mentally I'm feeling fine about riding still :-) .

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may

... and beware the Siberian High (that most dreaded of all meteorological phenomena). Bill Matheson, 1926-2006

Still more movies...

Little Miss Sunshine (2006) - went to see this with some friends, we chose to go to the semi-art-house theatre rather than the multiplex - not sure that the audience at the multiplex would have applauded at the end of the film. Actually, I don't remember the last time I recall an audience applauding at the end of a film ... I enjoyed this one a lot, perhaps in some ways a bit over-the-top. I really liked the scene where Frank, Dwayne, and Grandpa managed to get Olive to eat her ice cream without the guilt that her father was trying to impart ... also the horror of the pageant organizers and audience when Olive started her "dance" routine, as if all the other competitors were innocent and pure compared to Olive.

8 femmes (2002) - recorded this a while ago but only just watched it tonight. This musical-mystery was intriguing, good interactions between the actors, and overall quite amusing - not a typical Hollywood ending for sure. I liked the colour contrasts of all the outfits they were wearing - a lot of bright colours. The musical numbers weren't quite as jarring as in some films I've seen (see Bride and Prejudice below). I'm now interested in seeing other films by director François Ozon. (and some good practice for the French class I'll be starting soon ... vocabulary review when you hear French words you recognize and then can confirm via the English subtitles, I'm a long way still from understanding a French film without subtitles).

Bride and Prejudice (2004) - seeing that Pride and Prejudice is one of my all-time favourite novels, of course I had to watch this at some point. It was the first Bollywood-style film I had seen, I thought some of the musical-dance numbers were a bit much (I fast-forwarded through a few of them). But it was an interesting twist on the story, setting it in India with Mr. Darcy being a rich American.

Sense and Sensibility (1995) - I couldn't remember whether or not I had seen this one previously - I had, but I watched it again anyway. Directed by Ang Lee and starring Kate Winslet, Emma Thompson, and Hugh Grant, it's another film based on a Jane Austen novel. Like comfort food for me ... (ie. not very challenging, but enjoyable in the right context).

Looking forward to see what will be showing at the Edmonton Film Festival that starts on September 29, they were supposed to have their schedule online yesterday but it isn't yet.

Traffic in Edmonton...

I started working at the University Health Centre again this month, and I've been finding that the traffic is horrendous - even just compared to last spring. I drive almost downtown then take the LRT across to the university, and had been cutting it really close leaving the same time I was previously used to leaving. So, the other day I left earlier - but the traffic was even worse so I ended up 20 minutes late for work :-( . I was somewhat stressed over that, felt a need to apologize to the assistant director, was reassured that they understood etc. etc. - but still felt badly.

It's somewhat comforting in a way to know that it's not just me hitting bad patches of traffic, everyone's complaining - there was a whole series of articles in the paper this week about it. Presumably because of the economic boom in Alberta and the population growth here ... and that Ralph Klein recently admitted the provincial government had no real plan to handle the growth spurt ... from a column today in the Journal by Paula Simons:

It is, says Statistics Canada, absolutely unprecedented.
Alberta is in the middle of the strongest period of economic growth ever recorded by any province, in all of Canadian history.
This isn't just the biggest boom in Alberta's long and checkered history of booms. It's greater growth than Ontario experienced in its 1960s glory days or than B.C. saw in the 1980s during the great Hong Kong diaspora. It is, quite simply, the biggest boom Canada has ever seen.

Oh yes, I almost forgot, even if Klein didn't have any plan for the economic boom, he did manage to entrench the idea of the one-party state within Alberta, Frank Dabbs writes in the Tyee that

"Klein has consolidated the unwritten constitutional framework for a workable one-party state, now so deeply entrenched in Alberta's economy and political culture that it may never be dislodged.
He has completed the creation of the first functional post-democratic government in North America, run by elites for elites -- with the citizenry left on political standby to profit from a predatory economy if it can, and otherwise to fend for itself".

(and any Albertan who wants to pay to join the PC party can vote for Klein's successor as party leader/premier, plus out-of-province supporters can donate to the candidates' campaigns because there are no rules controlling the leadership contest...)

Swimming the English Channel

No, not me - Jen Alexander (Guiding types may remember her from the GuideZone or the YiGGGS list). She's in England now waiting her time to swim, sometime after Wednesday. Her blog is here - if you know Jen, check it out and send her a message of support.

Riding riding riding

That's what we did today, lots of riding - 60 km and over 3.5 hours, all the way to Rundle Park and back. A great way to spend the last Sunday afternoon of August when it's sunny and 25 C (knowing that winter's probably coming all too soon). Here's our route map in red, courtesy of Google (with a driving suggestion in blue, though I'd never actually drive that way to Rundle - I'd go up Henday to Yellowhead as it's much more direct) - click on it to see a larger version:

Only change in route was that we crossed over to Gold Bar Park going and stayed entirely on the north side of the river coming back. Lots of areas that I'd only seen on the map and never actually been to, like Rossdale, the Brickyard subdivision in Riverdale, Dawson Park, and most of Ada Boulevard.

This was my longest ever ride, topping last week's ride of almost 45 km to the University then the long way home via Snow Valley and a detour in behind Fort Edmonton. We also detoured slightly last week to Sue's to see the rock she put in her front yard (in memory of Darryl) - wow, it *is* big!

The other day I saw that the City is running various "Masters Training sessions" for free next month, I guess a follow-up to last year's World Masters Games - there was a Women's Road Cycling clinic with Alex Stieda, the first North American cyclist to wear the yellow jersey in the Tour de France (in 1986, good story about it here). So I signed up - I see that the men's clinic plus several others (triathlon, swimming) were already full. Stieda runs weekend skills camps in various locations (Banff, Jasper, Whistler, etc.) plus tours to the Tour de France, so even if it's just short I figure it will probably be useful - especially since it's free!

Remembering Darryl

here (what else can I say?)

What irony ...

How ironic is it when the song that I can't get out of my head and keep singing to myself is "Sing Me Spanish Techno", by The New Pornographers, which contains the lines

"if only to punish you
for listening too long to one song
listening too long to one song"

(which in fact are the some of the lines I keep singing ...)

What a day!

I woke up to radio news of thwarted terrorist attacks. Then I went online to read more about it, and heard that people were complaining about not being warned and that they lost their makeup, with the sudden restrictions on liquids in carry-on luggage (isn't not getting blown up a little bit more important than having to buy new makeup?)

Then it seemed that the crazies (well, one actually) on an online forum I frequent had become crazier still...

Then my day at work was so busy and demanding it made me yet again thankful I don't have to do this for too much longer (this sort of family medicine that is) - it's exactly the kind of stuff I quit last fall...

Then I heard at lunch that they found Darryl's body, which brought back all the sadness of last fall, but in the end it must bring some closure to Sue and to Darryl's family.

Then someone told me at the end of the day that there was a full moon last night, perhaps it explains my day ...

South American Penguin rescues

Penguins waddle back to the sea after oil spill clean up

(coming soon ... Ani DiFranco concert)

Canoeing :-)

Ed and I took a beginner canoe course this weekend, through the City of Edmonton, at Hermitage Park. Those of you who know me via Guiding might be asking, why would she be taking a beginner canoe course? (ie. hasn't she already taken the basics multiple times through Guiding?) And you would be right - a few years ago, I even completed the CRCA Flatwater A-C certification (and a year or 2 before that I did a course where we probably even completed the D level as well but weren't being CRCA-certified). But, I never have any opportunity to practice, and Ed has never taken any canoeing course, so we thought it would be a good idea for him to get the basics. That way, if we rent a canoe again and they insist (as usual) that the guy has to go in the stern, we won't be going in circles as we usually did whenever Ed would try to steer :-).

So, it was a good review for me, and Ed found it very useful - he now has confidence that he mostly knows what he's doing. And they shifted the time from 1-4 pm to 9-12 pm each day - so as it turned out we didn't get stuck out in the rain today, bonus.

A reasonable request ...

All I want to do before I take any questions is ask that everybody take a step back - I don't know what your position is now, and I wouldn't blame you if you were a bit skeptical because of what cycling has been through in the past and the way other cases have gone - but all I'm asking for, just for me, is that I be given a chance to prove that I'm innocent. Cycling has a traditional way of trying people in the court of public opinion before they get a chance to do anything else. I can't stop that but I would like to be assumed innocent until proven guilty, since that's the way we do things in America.

- Floyd Landis (as quoted in Cycling News).

It's hard to know what to think, Landis certainly comes across as the type of rider who wouldn't resort to doping, but then again what do we really know about any of these riders to be able to say "so-and-so would never do that, they don't seem like the type"? Some random thoughts:
1) Rumour has it that actually his testosterone level was low overall, but it was the ratio to the marker substance in the body (epitestosterone) that was high. I'm not sure exactly what that would imply, but I think it illustrates the difficulty in testing and catching people for using hormones naturally found in the body, they can't go by absolute levels and instead have to resort to other techniques.
2) There have been several athletes who have had their positive test for testosterone overturned because they were able to prove they have normally high levels of testosterone. Some of the things that have been shown to naturally raise testosterone levels include alcohol (Landis had previously admitted to having a beer after his really bad day in the mountains, which was the night before the stage he blew everyone away and the night before this test was done), and exertion (again, the test is from the stage when he powered away from everyone, lots of exertion there).
3) I wonder frequently where the line should be drawn in terms of catching doping athletes. In medical statistics we learned about sensitivity and specificity for testing, where sensitivity "refers to how good a test is at correctly identifying people who have the disease" (or are doping in this case), and specificity is "concerned with how good the test is at correctly identifying people who are well" (or who aren't doping). I'm sure that the tests they're currently using probably have both high sensitivity and specificity, but it's never 100% so there's always the possibility of false positives (meaning that innocent athletes can get banned from competition), as well as false negatives (meaning that some dopers don't get caught). Then, there is rampant speculation that dopers are using techniques so that there isn't actually any of the banned substance in their bodies at the time of a test, or that they're using substances for which there aren't any tests yet, or techniques (like blood transfusions) that really can't be tested for directly and it ends up being the police investigations (like Operation Puerto) that catch them (if at all). Which would mean that the overall sensitivity of drug testing in sports could be fairly low, and yet there's still the possibility of false positives with the tests they do have ... so what's more important, sacrificing a few innocent athletes in order to have a better chance of getting all the dopers, or trying to ensure that it's only the dopers that get caught and punished. I'd say the latter, but I wonder sometimes if that's the case at present. From a conference I attended in May, it seems as though a lot of administrative effort goes into processing the exemption forms for bronchodilators and corticosteroids which have questionable performance enhancing effects - maybe they need to make more effort changing the culture overall.
4) Are we expecting too much from athletes? Is the Tour de France really too hard (ie. through the mountains) as world champion Tom Boonen suggested during this year's Tour before he abandoned (in the mountains)? -sorry, can't find a link at the moment.

Anyway, I'm kind of glad the DP Forum is down for the moment, I'd spend too much time reading about this case if it were up and running :) , and I've got other things to think about - like our getaway next weekend to Panorama ! We *were* going to go camping to Mt. Robson provincial park in BC, but we didn't get around to making a reservation in time, and it's not like there are a lot of other options there if all the first-come first-served sites are full for a long weekend ... so we made other plans instead. For some reason I really love the Radium-Invermere-Panorama area so it's always great to go back there again :)

A month later...

I was going to post on my birthday, about how it was such a day of mixed emotions - nice to spend time with family, but I had to work that day, nice that the Tour de France was going to start the next day, but there was a big doping scandal that took out a number of the top contenders (on my birthday no less). But obviously I never got around to it ...

Busy watching the Tour for the last few weeks, as well as working pretty much full-time again. The Tour was the most exciting one that I've ever seen, as the outcome wasn't essentially predetermined. My favourite rider for the overall (Aussie Cadel Evans) ended up 5th, which is really good considering he was 8th last year (but there were a lot who suddenly had expectations that he'd do even better given the strange circumstances of a number of riders missing from the Tour). And my favourite sprinter (Aussie Robbie McEwen) ended up winning the green jersey, as the top rider in the points competition (points given each stage depending on your placing rather than the time, you could say it measures the consistency of finishing near the top - the overall contenders will often finish in the middle of the pack on flat stages for example).

As for working, well, I've realized yet again that the job I'm going to in September will be a good thing for me ... I'm starting to feel similar fatigue and frustration to when I had my own practice, the thought that I only have just over a month to go is what's getting me through. At least I'll get paid on Friday ... they made a mistake in registering me properly through the computer system when I started for July, so the first set of billings to Alberta Health was entirely rejected, then when they tried to fix the problem the next set of billings missed the payment deadline, but it looks like everything went through ok this time. I think I might have gone on strike otherwise ;-)

And I'm nearing the point of giving up on the pregnancy thing, I just can't deal with the expectations and hopes of being pregnant and then the cruel disappointment each month when it doesn't happen (like today for instance, I was so sure this was going to be the lucky month). I'm not sure I want to spend tons of money for alternative ways to experience the same disappointment ...

I think I'm starting to sound really sorry for myself, and I'm not generally like that, so I'd better stop now :-). Maybe I'll go watch a movie or something (I've got a bunch recorded that I haven't had a chance to watch yet)...

Triathlon photos

... not quite the sunflowers of the Tour de France, but the canola field starting to bloom in the background is kind of pretty too. And I'm just past the turnaround point (ie. had to slow down for a 180 degree turn) or I'd be more aerodynamic :-).

Race Report - Leduc Women's Triathlon

I read somewhere that it's not the night before a big event when it's the most important to get a good night's sleep, but actually 2 nights before ... then you don't have to worry if you have trouble sleeping because you're nervous or because your neighbours always seem to have really loud parties on nights when you need to get to sleep early (yeah, that happened last night - they were still loud past 2 am. We think next time we'll yell out the window at them ... but we were too tired and that would have made us wake up fully last night ...). So, having to wake up at 6 am was difficult ...

Pretty nifty when the race organizer comments that you have a really good-looking bike as he's walking around while your bike is getting checked over by the techs. When they asked in the pre-race meeting, it looked like maybe a quarter to a third of the 120-or-so participants were doing their first triathlon ... maybe that's why Ed says my bike was among the best of the "bike porn" (ie. bikes that are admired by others and nice to look at), a few Cervelos and other Treks, but not a lot.

And I'm not used to not having to start really early (ie. 7-8 am) at a triathlon - my heat time was 10:20 am so I had a few hours to watch others and get ready before I had to race (we had to be set up in transition by 8:15 am, then there was a pre-race meeting at 8:30am, and the first heat was at 9am). Not only then was there time for it to get warmer outside by the time I was racing, it was also a much warmer day overall than 4 weeks ago for the last tri - today it was already 21 C when I started and 24 C when I finished. I got a bit sunburnt, the spray-on sunscreen I tried in 1st transition didn't go on so well to wet skin. I guess I was being too nice in thinking I shouldn't really put on sunscreen ahead of time that could partially come off into the pool - better to protect myself rather than their pool next time!

I felt tired in the swim, though it improved the longer I swam, got into a groove so to speak ... and improved my 750 m swim time by over 20 seconds! Much better than Coronation in that there were only 4 to a lane (25 m pool) and we seemed to be well-matched and spread ourselves out fairly well, so didn't have to worry much about passing/being passed.

Ed wasn't there to yell encouragement at me for a fast transition, as he was volunteering on the bike course, and my transitions were pretty slow today - I kept thinking I must be forgetting something and rechecked several times before I left.

I felt pretty good on the bike, passed a couple of people on the initial flat stretch, then broke my speed record by going 58.5 km/h down the major hill. Going up the other side felt pretty good, and I made it to the turnaround (where Ed was) in about 23 minutes. Back down again I got to at least 50 km/h, and the major uphill was easier than I thought - I'd been worried that perhaps it was steep enough that I'd run out of gears and run out of energy, but that was far from happening. Then back onto the flat stretch again, and into transition, and the run ...

Amazingly enough, my leg was great - my shin (stress injury) didn't hurt at all during the run or afterwards, but I had a horrible abdominal cramp develop and had to powerwalk for about 10 minutes in the middle (guess I need to figure out something better to eat for breakfast). I was able then to run again without too much trouble, and ran all the way to the end ... think the run course was a bit less than 5 km actually because my run time was actually not as bad as I thought it would be, despite walking for so long. My final time was 1:52:27 (improvement of 7 minutes from my last triathlon of this distance), and Ed had finished his volunteer duties by then so was at the finish line even to greet me and take a photo. So, overall a good race for me, and well-organized.

addendum: overall results now here, 55th in the swim of 131, so I guess my future goal is to get my bike and run to match my swim placing :-). And I wasn't last! (oh, and the listed bike time would include both my slow transitions, my actual bike time for the 20 km was about 52 min).

Peter Reid retiring

Three-time Ironman Triathlon World Champion (and Canadian) Peter Reid announced his retirement recently - I've watched (online) the Ironman Worlds in Hawaii each October for the last few years, and will miss him in the races.

(and I really should stop procrastinating and finish getting ready for my triathlon tomorrow, the Leduc Women's Triathlon ... report and maybe some photos to follow, but Ed's volunteering on the bike course so he may only have one chance to take a photo of me on course, and then only if there's not lots of traffic to direct. I'm sure he'll get the "getting my transition area ready prior" and "after the race" photos though).

Longest Day of the year

Sunset here today was at 10:07 pm, now it's just after 11 pm and still twilight (ie. not fully dark). I remember when I was in Peace River in 1998 for part of my residency, in June it was still twilight even after midnight when I'd get called back to the hospital while on call - I think there it got dark about 2 am for a couple of hours only. These are the days I long for in December when it seems like it's dark all the time ...

Building confidence

Today was a day of training to build my confidence before Sunday's triathlon - on the weekend, Ed and I did a ride where on 2 hills I really tried to push it hard, and ended up crashing (figuratively) and burning for the most part :( . I guess I'm not cut out to emulate Jan Ullrich - need to spin more like Lance (for any non-cycling fans, Ullrich is known for pedalling at a lower cadence in a harder gear which requires more strength - Armstrong more for a higher cadence ie. spinning).

So today, I went back up those 2 hills again trying more of a spinning approach, and it went much better :) . And I broke my downhill speed record as well (55.2 km/h down to the zoo) - I could only ever hit mid-40's on my MTB and it took me a while to get the confidence on the road bike to let it go downhill that much faster ...

I also drove the bike course for Sunday again, after one of Ed's friends (with a lot of triathlon connections) was telling us how everyone thinks it's a really hard course. I thought when we drove it before that the uphill sections were long (all relatively speaking of course, not talking Tour de France here or even Icefields Parkway) but not super-steep ... so I was relieved to find again today that my recollection was correct. And the first half going out (and last half coming back) are pretty much flat, so I think it will be fine.

I don't like 25 m pools though (swam at the Leduc pool today too), I lose count of my laps too easily as I'm used to a 50 m pool ...

An interesting word ...

Weltschmertz - Sorrow or sadness over the present or future evils or woes of the world in general; sentimental pessimism.

This word was highly prominent in Canada a few weeks ago, when a local 14 year-old girl came 2nd in the American national spelling bee, misspelling "weltschmertz" to be eliminated. There were complaints via letters to the editor how it was unfair that the Americans could mispronounce "toque", or that they should have given Finola the Americanized pronunciation (w-sound) in addition to the correct/original one (v-sound) - amazing what brings out the conspiracy theorists (the organizers were obviously anti-Canadian, you know).

Last week, I thought about this word (and "ennui") when I was feeling somewhat down and unmotivated to do much of anything ... especially after my leg injury, I was incredibly tired, and was worrying too much about the "woes of the world in general". Maybe it was related to all the rain and cold we had last week too, I don't know - but feeling much better this week, no more weltschmertz nor ennui :-).

(and I was able to run today for just over 20 minutes, with only a few twinges and slight aching from my left lower leg that was injured ... so I should at least be able to manage the 5 km run in the triathlon on Sunday, even if then I can't run afterwards for another while).

"In Praise of Slow"

I just finished reading this book, by Carl Honoré, a Canadian journalist living in London (whose father was one of our pathology professors in med school). IIRC, I read a review of the book in the paper, where I was amused by the author recalling his initial joyful reaction to hearing that there was a collection available of "One Minute Bedtime Stories" and then his horror at realizing how obsessed with time he had become - and then interested to read how he grew up in Edmonton with a physician father (so figured out who that must be, as I mentioned, one of my prior profs). Of course, I bought the book months ago, probably before Christmas even, then started reading it when I was working at "Clinic C" (while I had a lot of time between patients initially).

Lots of interesting ideas, given that part of what I was trying to accomplish with leaving "Clinic A" was to slow down my life in a sense ... so good reinforcement to know I'm not the only one feeling as I did. A good summary, from page 275, "The secret is balance: instead of doing everything faster, do everything at the right speed. Sometimes fast. Sometimes slow. Sometimes somewhere in between. Being Slow means never rushing, never striving to save time just for the sake of it".

He mentions a University of Lethbridge prof who does "slow reading" by posting thoughts and insights on the internet after each of his reading sessions, thereby taking longer to read each book but finding a greater understanding and appreciation of the books by doing so. Which is kind of the reason why I've been posting stuff about various books and films here (at least sometimes), makes me think more about them and therefore absorb and appreciate them more.

We've been making an effort every so often to enjoy a really good meal at nice restaurants, sort of related to the "Slow Food" philosophy in a way - like when we ate at Lumière in Vancouver 2 years ago, taking the opportuntity of an evening port call to find a nice restaurant in San Jose (Puerto Rico) instead of eating on the cruise ship, or even when we went to the Catch Oyster Bar in Calgary 2 weekends ago. Can't afford to do that all the time (especially Lumière ;-) ), but really enjoyable on special occasions :-).

The difference between Canada and the US ...

you'd never see the US president sitting in the crowd and high-fiving fans at a sports event, without obvious security personnel everywhere ... photo from the Journal.

(Oilers won so Stanley Cup finals going to a 7th game tomorrow!)

I guess I spoke too soon ...

... my doctor called this morning about my bone scan. Good news is that I don't have a stress fracture, bad news is that there was increased uptake on the bone scan consistent with stress periostitis in my tibia (= inflammation of the bone lining, an overuse-type injury, often referred to as "medial tibial stress syndrome" (MTSS)). I had thought that perhaps it was MTSS, but didn't realize that this actually causes inflammation of the bone and shows up on a bone scan :-( . The treatment is rest, ice, anti-inflammatories ... I've already been "resting" (in terms of no running) for almost 3 weeks since my last triathlon, I didn't ask my doctor how long I should be resting for and whether it was ok to do my next triathlon on the 25th as I didn't really want to hear her answer. (She continues to use the term "shin splints", which sports medicine specialists are trying to avoid because it is too non-specific and actually refers to a number of conditions - but then, apparently the radiologist also used the term "shin splints" in their report as well ... sounds like I'm not dealing with any sports medicine experts here, not that I'm one myself lol).

So, I figure I'll rest until next week, try an easy short run (or two) then do the 5 km at the triathlon (walking lots or entirely if I need to) ... then no more running until it's completely better afterwards. I might even request a sports medicine referral if it doesn't seem to be settling properly ... with what I'm reading, apparently over-pronation is potentially part of the cause and orthotics can help, so perhaps my current orthotics aren't quite right, and the podiatrist I got them from is usually so quick with visits that I'm not sure he'd actually do a thorough analysis of my gait and whether there's too much pronation or similar.

(and "overuse" in my case would be too much too quickly, in terms of increasing distance, not that I'm doing too much running in general because that certainly wasn't happening with me ...)

A side benefit though is that I will be able to claim at least 1 or 2 continuing medical education credits for all the reading I'm currently doing about tibial periostitis/MTSS/stress fractures :-) .

Some articles:
-simple version from about.com
-an article from a podiatry perspective

More riding ...

I did another "long" (for me) ride yesterday, 32.3 km including 3 hills - Keillor Road (or what's left of it, it's now a multi-use path with switchbacks after the vehicle road fell into disrepair and caved in), and twice up my usual training hill in Laurier up from the zoo. My route took me almost all the way to the university, so it's possible that I could bike to work when I work there (though not practical).

And I haven't heard anything from my doctor yet, so hopefully that's good news - had a bone scan last week to rule out a stress fracture in my leg, since I've had recurrent shin pain and swelling every time I try to do more running. It may still end up as a swim-bike-walk triathlon for me in less than 2 weeks now ...

Too good to be true???

I'll believe it when I see it - found out Friday night that Ed and I (hopefully) will be able to buy tickets to tomorrow's Stanley Cup playoff game, at face value, from some friends that Ed met doing the Bell City Chase series (we were in Calgary this weekend for the event there, and he did the one in Edmonton two weeks ago - "The Bell City Chase is a unique urban adventure that requires participants to exhibit teamwork, resourcefulness, determination and the ability to make decisions on the fly as they search for ChasePoints scattered in unknown locations throughout the city. ChasePoints are designed to test teams with a variety of physical, mental, and otherwise adventurous challenges").

Like I said, I'll believe it when I actually see the tickets, but it sounds like it's going to happen. Considering that a quick check of E-bay shows tickets for tomorrow's game in the thousands of dollars for a pair ...

Which then makes me reflect on hockey in general... how I was so ticked off last season with the lockout that I made no effort to go to any games at all this year. How I really got into pro cycling as a fan since last summer and have spent way more time reading cycling news and watching cycling races than I have paying attention to hockey until recently. How until the playoffs I don't think I actually watched an entire hockey game this season except the Vancouver-Phoenix game we watched at Geri's when we visited last November. But hockey fandom must be deeply entrenched within me I guess, even as I rationally think of reasons not to watch ...

As for hockey playoff games, I think I've only ever been to two - one was in high school when I got a free ticket to Edmonton-Vancouver in the first round, memorable because a) it was back when Edmonton fans looked down condescendingly on the first round and often didn't bother to show up (this was probably actually 1986, before the Oilers lost to Calgary in the 2nd round thanks to Steve Smith's own goal... then the Oiler fans learned not to take things for granted), and
b) I was cheering for the Canucks, hadn't been in Edmonton long enough at that point to get over my hatred for the Oilers ...
Apparently I also went once to one of the Edmonton -Dallas games a few years ago, but those weren't all that memorable because the Oilers generally lost. (Now that I think more about it, I do remember walking up to the arena and seeing someone selling "Belfour sucks" buttons outside - and the chant "Bel-four, Bel-four" just to get under the skin of the Dallas goalie at the time).

When we found out about the tickets, the Oil were down 2-0 in the series with things looking pretty bad after a 5-0 loss and the loss of star goalie Roloson in the first game. But we figured either the Oilers would be playing better and back in it, or else we might get to see the Stanley Cup presentation. With Edmonton winning last night there's no chance we'll see a Stanley Cup presentation (phew!), hopefully they'll play well and tie the series!


ADDENDUM (June 13) - we lost. A let-down in a lot of respects, yeah it was an exciting atmosphere but in the end it's just a hockey game, and there are a lot of more important things in life ...

A Published Writer Now ...

well, sort of - I wrote an article about the Canadian Academy of Sports Medicine conference that I recently attended, for the Daily Peloton, a website devoted to pro cycling news. You can see the article here: part 1 and part 2.

I was already feeling despondent yesterday morning, about the fact that the Oilers blew a three-goal lead in the first game of the Stanley Cup playoffs, lost their star goalie to injury, then had the backup goalie make a stupid mistake that caused the winning goal for Carolina ... then I read something in the paper that just made me feel ill. I won't go into details or even link to it, those in Edmonton who know me might figure out what it is and the connection (and if you really want to know, e-mail me), but it doesn't seem right to post details about it at all.

What I wanted to say, though, was that although I'm certainly a big advocate of the justice system learning how to properly deal with people who have mental illnesses (let's just say I know from other personal experience that the justice system doesn't always treat such people well), it doesn't mean that I think those with mental illness should get away with violent crimes by virtue of being "not criminally responsible" - if it gets to that point, the system has already failed them miserably, but they still need to be accountable for what they've done (even if that means confined to a psychiatric institution long-term rather than prison, but at least something). What made me feel ill was the idea that 2 years after an incident, on the morning a trial was about to start, only then does it come to light that perhaps someone has a mental illness and needs psychiatric evaluation/ possibly can't stand trial?? Yeah, right ... nice delaying tactic there. And that's all I can really say about it.

Training ...

I figured that since I have some time off work, I could start doing some longer bike rides (my usual route is about 20 km) ... for example, ride to some of the parks, sit and read for a while/enjoy the outdoors, then ride home. So yesterday, I did just that ... was aiming for Government House Park via McKinnon Ravine, ended up riding all the way along River Valley Road to the LRT bridge (ie. almost downtown), 15 km. Then I came back a bit and sat and read for a while ... until I noticed that it was starting to cloud over in an ominous kind of way. So I started heading home, at a faster pace than on the way out.

As I reached Westridge (about 10-15 minutes from home), it started to rain. I still thought I could make it back before any downpour, until a few big wind gusts hit me and my nice light road bike didn't like them very much. I figured that the combination of wind, slippery wet road and traffic on skinny tires wasn't such a good thing, so I headed over to my parents to take shelter until the storm blew over.

After visiting with my dad for about 20 minutes, with the storm looking to be more entrenched rather than simply blowing over, he offered to drive me home. So, I had a total of 27 km for the day instead of 32 or so ... still my longest ride on my own (or actually perhaps ever), and once again almost doubling the odometer on my new bike (from 30-something to 60-something).

I made the mistake of joking to my husband that I "hitched a ride in the team car" (aka my dad's 1987 Chevy van) ... and now he won't stop teasing me about it. It's not like I called someone to come pick me up out of the rain :-) .

(and I had another minor crash, getting too cocky with my pedals I guess and not taking proper care, I remember thinking "gee, this seems easier and easier to click out of the pedals" as I was slowing down, when I leaned too far to the other side and went over... more bruises, oh well).

Swim ... Bike ... Run ... (Coronation Triathlon)

Edmonton Folk Festival - to go or not to go?

We used to go every year (from 1989 to late 1990's sometime) to the Edmonton Folk Music Festival, that's where I first heard Ani DiFranco and Dar Williams, where I heard a number of Canadian musicians before they hit it "big" (Crash Test Dummies), where I've heard a number of Canadian bands that were never really "big" but I loved anyway (Junior Gone Wild, Spirit of the West, Moxy Früvous, Captain Tractor), and Canadian music staples like Blue Rodeo, Barenaked Ladies, Jann Arden, Colin James/Colin Linden, Great Big Sea. Then there are the musicians I might not have gone to see otherwise, but I can say I've seen live - Elvis Costello, Emmylou Harris, Bruce Cockburn, Randy Newman, John Hiatt, Ashley McIsaac, Oysterband (a highlight in 1997 was seeing Oysterband and Great Big Sea on stage together to sing "When I'm Up I Can't Get Down", originally by Oysterband and covered by GBS). And all the world music performances over the years.

So, the 2006 lineup was released the other day, and I've been trying to decide whether I should go again after missing a few years (it got so competitive trying to get a good spot on the hill, and so tiring trying to see everything possible, that we just kind of gave up for a while). Here's my analysis of this year's lineup (trying to help myself figure out whether or not to get tickets):

would like to see (haven't before) - ***Sarah Harmer, Bedouin Soundclash, Jason Collett (has sung with Broken Social Scene), Feist (has also sung with Broken Social Scene), Hawksley Workman

would like to see again - James Keelaghan, Paul Kelly, Bruce Cockburn

big names but I'm not really a fan - Neville Brothers, Linda Ronstadt

and a whole bunch of names where I have no clue who they are ...

Coronation Triathlon

And speaking of triathlons, I guess I should post something about my experience last Sunday (I was waiting until my husband had his photos ready as well, but I guess I'll just add a few photos later).

I entered (and finished) the Coronation Triathlon last Sunday - was a little bit worried the days prior as the weather seemed to be getting worse and worse, on Saturday the forecast for triathlon day changed from sunny and 18 C to rain/cloud/high of 13 C. But when I woke up (before 5am :-( ), it was clearing up and didn't look like any chance of rain. Mind you, it was only 6 C out, not pleasant in a wet swimsuit or tri suit.

The organizing team had changed for this year, and they still have a few bugs to work out ... it was good for safety reasons that they decided to close the transition area at 7 am rather than letting competitors wander in and out during the event, but they didn't really seem prepared for everyone to be checking in between 6 and 7 am as a result. So, the first swim heats got off to a late start (about 20 minutes), and being in the next heat by virtue of being in the mountain bike category, I got off to a late start as well. At least I don't get nervous right before the event - I did all that in the week prior :-). By starting us off into the pool at only 5 second intervals and by adding 2 faster swimmers to our heat just prior, we ended up with severe lane congestion - I think I managed only a single flip-turn, the rest of the time at the ends we were all stopped and bunched up trying to figure out who should go out first for the next length. And the lane counters got confused IMO - they advised me I had only 1 lap to go when I knew I had 2 left, I think they let some people out of the pool early, but at least I know I did the right number of laps. Despite all that, I had a PB in the swim by about 25 seconds from my time 3 years ago (when we did it as a team so all I had to do was swim).

Then out into the brisk Edmonton morning in a wet triathlon suit. I was quite warm from the swim so I decided against my long-sleeved shirt and/or jacket and just put on a t-shirt ... and then thought I'd made the wrong decision as I froze on the first section of the bike course, downhill into the wind. But I warmed up after getting to the bottom and turning to go back uphill again. I made good time on the bike, 14-15 minutes per lap (compared to 16-18 minutes last year), wasn't worried about the fancy road bikes that passed me as long as I didn't get passed by too many other MTB'ers (which I didn't), and I even managed to pass 2 roadies at various points! Ed and my parents were at the top of the course to cheer me on for each of the four laps (and I think Ed convinced my parents that it would be greatly appreciated by the competitors to cheer for everyone who went by). I finished the bike leg about 9 minutes ahead of last year...

...which meant that my legs were dead going out onto the run. Instead of my usual 10 :1 run:walk pattern (a la Running Room), I found that I was picking out landmarks about 5 minutes ahead and just struggling to run to them before taking a quick break ... first to the water station, then down the hill, then to the turnaround point, etc. On the way back, I figured that if I could get to the "flamme rouge" (=1 km to go marker in cycling, they didn't have it marked that way but that's how I thought of it lol) I could take another quick walk break and then be able to run to the finish. Then I realized that because I was so much slower on the run than last year (and because my T2 transition time was slower as this was the first time I've had bike shoes to change out of into runners), I was in jeopardy of not beating last year's time despite my PB swim and bike ... so I really pushed it the last km and it hurt, but I beat last year's time by just under 2 minutes!

So, I came home and signed up for the Leduc Women's Triathlon in late June, a bit shorter than this one so I should have no problems with the run even if I don't train :-)

(photos to follow, maybe)

Health problems of the "geek lifestyle"

Hmm, good thing I do triathlons I guess - last winter when I was off work for a few months and spent entirely too much time on the computer, I suffered some of the symptoms apparently "unique to IT workers... insomnia and altered sleep patterns, headaches, back pain, and poor attention span" (don't think my attention suffered at all, but my sleep cycle certainly was out of whack and I had a lot of back pain then).

Tidbits from the Journal

There has been some interesting stuff in our paper recently. The other day, there was a column comparing the excitement over the Edmonton Oilers' Stanley Cup run to a religion:

Watch fans gather in great dancing circles on Whyte Avenue after a victory. Look at their painted faces, their display of sacred icons. Notice their use of consciousness-raising substances, their expressions of rapture. Is this not a religious experience? ... "One definition of religion is a functional one, that says religion is what gives meaning and order to people's lives," says Kent. Hockey, therefore, "comes close to being a functional religion."

And last weekend there was an article about how researchers are planning a study at UBC to determine whether the long shifts (up to 28 hours when I was a resident) that medical residents endure cause a significant number of medical errors.

Ayas considers it a coup that the Canadian Patient Safety Institute awarded his group a $100,000 grant to study the issue.
The institute was formed in 2003 with $50 million over five years in funding from Health Canada and a mandate to support the development of safety initiatives.
One of its goals is to support health-care professionals who want to improve patient safety.
"When you think about it, the people who pay the bills for health care may not want to know the answers to the questions we are posing," said Ayas who is ideally suited to conduct the study since he is also on staff at the sleep-disorders program at the University of B.C. Hospital.

And then after I mentioned the $25 million home for sale in Victoria, there was this article about an almost-completed home in Edmonton rumoured to be worth $20 million - you can see it from Hawrelak Park across the river and it really stands out (but didn't realize it was that big/worth that much).

A Revelation and a breakthrough...

I had a revelation about my work the other day ... I've been off for a few weeks, and was to go back on Tuesday (after the long weekend here) for 2 weeks, to "clinic C" where I was working in April and will be working for July and August. On Thursday afternoon, I got a desperate call from "clinic B", where I worked January to March and where I will be working again from September, asking if I could come in Friday as they were really short of doctors. So, I agreed to help out and worked Friday on short-notice.

All the staff seemed quite happy to see me again, as did the doctors who were in, and not just in terms of "thanks for helping us out". And I got a number of nice comments and thank-you's from patients, eg. "this has been the most productive doctor visit I've had in a long time" was one comment that I actually heard a few variants of, in only one day.

So my revelation was that I really feel appreciated at clinic B (and therefore think I've made a good choice to go back there in September), by both my co-workers as well as the patients :-) . Not that I need or expect everyone to thank me and show appreciation constantly, but I think a little bit of appreciation and recognition goes a long way. I realized that in the situation of clinic A (where I worked for 6 years before) or clinic C, with mostly long-term, chronic patients, I didn't really get a lot of appreciation ever and usually unrealistic expectations, complaints and demands more than anything else - tends to wear on you after a while... (I found it ironic last October in my last month at clinic A, when I seemed to get more appreciation then than in my entire 6 years previously at that clinic - little bit too late). I felt really good after work on Friday ...

Then a breakthrough yesterday, I've really been struggling with my running and with my triathlon now in just one week that was starting to worry me a bit. What with not running much over the winter, then my bike crash slowing me down for a while, I'd only done 5 km runs so far and need to run 8 km for the triathlon. I never seemed to get to the point of enjoying any of the runs I was doing, they all seemed to be struggles where I was focussing on how high my heart-rate was getting or how much my legs were hurting or how hot it was out or how much time did I have left before my walk-break (I follow the 10:1 run:walk scheme taught by the Running Room). So yesterday, I ditched my watch with the heart-rate monitor and interval timer and just went out with my old stopwatch. It was a good temperature (low teens C) and really windy (though it makes the running harder I love windy days in general unless it's minus 30 :-) ), and I just went by feel instead of constantly watching my watch. And I had a great run - was aiming for 5 km and did 7.5 km instead, felt great afterwards, and actually not even stiff today, so I have renewed confidence that everything will be fine next week for my triathlon. I may not beat last year's running time, but I should beat last year's overall time (as well as I'll likely blow away my bike time from last year) :-).

Winter to Summer in 2 weeks or less...

When we picked up our new bikes less than 2 weeks ago, it was rainy and cold (near freezing) and even a bit of snow mixed in. Yesterday it was 31 C here, a new record for May 17. You just never know around here with the weather, for now it almost looks like we skipped spring entirely ...

(see, it's lack of familiarity with such warmth that led me to go running yesterday in the late afternoon, the hottest part of the day, needless to say it didn't go too well.. actually it was more desperation that I have the Coronation Triathlon in just over a week and need to do more running to get up to 8 km beforehand.)

Interesting how prior to my recent trip to Victoria late April/early May, I remember thinking how brown everything was here in Edmonton - snow melted early, lots of gravel still on the roads from winter, grass not greening up yet and leaves not yet coming out on the trees. Therefore, Victoria was quite the contrast - the friends I stayed with were apologizing that a recent storm had blown all the blossoms off the trees, and that the deer in their neighbourhood generally eat all the tulips. And I'm just thinking to myself, "Green leaves... green grass... flowers... wow... "

But when I returned from Victoria, in just a week there was much more green here - to the point now where it's actually quite green, the lilacs are blooming, and the blossoming trees are starting to bloom as well (including our crabapple). Even the really slow-to-leaf-out ash trees the City planted on our block are starting to turn green ... I have really noticed the change on some of my bike rides recently, now if only they'd clean the gravel off the roads :-)

Bike update - still getting used to the new bike but went 10 km the other day, mostly still using the mountain bike because that's what I'll be doing the triathlon on, impressed with myself that I've made it up a couple of hills this year that I hadn't been able to do before (going north on the old country club road from Westridge to Rio Terrace, going south on the old 184 Street through Wedgewood Ravine), and a few that I hadn't been on before (Keillor Road, bike path beside the Whitemud Freeway down to Rainbow Valley and back up again, going east). So maybe I will get the courage to tackle Emily Murphy Hill, and thus perhaps enter the triathlon in conjunction with the World Cup here in July.

One other comment about Victoria - contrasts! Like between the $25 million house for sale in Uplands that we drove by (or even the Gordon Head area where I stayed one night with friends), and the derelict building and homeless people across the street from the hotel where I stayed during my conference.

Good few weeks for Davitamon-Lotto...

(which is the name of my favourite pro cycling team, btw). First, Robbie McEwen (top) won Stage 1 of the Tour de Romandie, a one-week ProTour stage race in Switzerland. Then Chris Horner (middle) won Stage 2, with one of the most jubilant victory-line photos I've seen. Finally, Cadel Evans (R) won the final stage (an individual time-trial) and thus won the overall race!

Then, the Giro d'Italia started last weekend - this is one of the three "Grand Tours" (the best-known being the Tour de France). There have been 6 stages so far, and Robbie McEwen has won three of them - go Robbie!



(and notice how Nick Gates, another Aussie rider on Davitamon-Lotto, even made it into the finish-line photo sort of, having helped Robbie to the win)



(photos from www.davitamon-lotto.com and www.mcewenrobbie.com)

New bikes! :-)

It had been something we were thinking about for the future, but for a number of reasons we decided to go ahead and both buy road bikes now:
1) taking 2 months off work in 2005 meant I paid too much ahead of time in income tax so I got a nice refund recently,
2) kept thinking we'd need more savings for a "maternity leave" but so far it doesn't look like that's happening any time soon,
3) Ed's thinking about riding to work this summer (save money on gas plus better for overall health and fitness),
4) I'm thinking of doing more triathlons this year and tired of everyone blowing by me on their light road bikes compared to my heavy mountain bike,
5) with road bikes that means we can actually put the stubby mountain bike tires back on the MTB's (instead of the slick tires we've been using) and ride off-road with the MTB's again...
(is that enough reasons?)

Ed was nice enough to wait until my bike came in so we could pick them up together, which we did today. Apparently, it's a really good time for the bike industry these days and Trek is behind in shipments - usually it only takes a few days to order one apparently but mine took two weeks...

Unfortunately, the weather hasn't co-operated so we haven't had a chance yet to ride outside (which would involve initially just going up and down the nearby minimal-traffic cul-de-sac in order to get used to clipless pedals), but hopefully tomorrow there will be some breaks from the rain. (Actually, by tomorrow I'll likely be so eager to try it that I'll go out rain or shine).

Some pics for your enjoyment - Ed's is the dark grey Trek 2100, and mine is the white Trek Pilot 2.1 .

The Sentinel

I posted some comments on this movie at imdb.com (link).

iPod Playlist (even though I don't actually own one)

Our newspaper has been printing playlists from readers in the Saturday "Culture" section, right below the upcoming releases section ... today they printed mine (well, actually not mine, but Chris's - thanks Chris!):

YOURPOD
Today's list comes from Jennifer Walker, with a little encouragement from one of her friends.
"Once it was obvious that I needed to break out of my Canadian pop-roots orientation of the last 10 years -- Blue Rodeo, Great Big Sea, Jann Arden, Colin James, et cetera," she writes, "My buddy Chris in Australia was kind enough to give me some recommendations which I have thoroughly enjoyed."
And, she adds, downloaded legally from emusic.com, which specializes in indie artists and labels.
Here are Jennifer's selections:

- Mercury Rev, Goddess on a Highway
- Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti, Life in L.A.
- Magnetic Fields, Papa Was a Rodeo
- Tindersticks, People Keep Comin' Around
- Pavement, Passat Dream
- Cat Power, Cross Bones Style
- Galaxie 500, Blue Thunder
- Jens Lekman, Tram #7 to Heaven
- Jose Gonzalez, Heartbeats
- Spain, Every Time I Try
- Sufjan Stevens, Chicago
- The Pixies, Here Comes Your Man
- Al Phoenix, Bird Whispering
- Animal Collective, Did You See the Words
OK, that was a little more than 10 songs ... but we'll let it slide this time.

More films part 2 ...

A few days ago I borrowed a DVD that my mom had rented (was quite surprised that she'd rent something in Hindi with English subtitles, even if it was by a Canadian director) - Water (2005), by Deepa Mehta. I remember hearing a few years back about how when she originally tried to film this in India, she ran into a lot of religious protests - she ended up delaying the project for a few years then filming in Sri Lanka instead (which then makes it a bit amusing how many articles online refer to her as an "Indian" filmmaker - yes, she was born there but immigrated to Canada many years ago, and I'm not sure how welcome she is in India by certain groups).

The film is set in the late 1930's, at which time child marriage was still quite common, and widows were basically cast out by their families under the guise of religion and usually ended up living in poverty. One of the main characters, Chuyia, was married so young that when she was widowed by age 8 she didn't even realize she had been married or who her husband was - others of the widows had never met their husbands. So there were some interesting social aspects (especially since Mehta points out at the end that there are still millions of widows living under similar conditions today in India despite some loosening of cultural restrictions), a love story, and hopefulness at the end that things might change (e.g., the influence of Gandhi). I really enjoyed the film, and thought that Mehta did a good job of weaving the water theme throughout - from the opening scene of a pond with water lilies, to the holy water used in many rituals, to the many times it was raining, to the focus on the river Ganges. (and I thought it was pretty amazing that the actor playing Chuyia, a Sri Lankan girl, didn't speak either English or Hindi so learned her lines phonetically via an interpreter - in one of the special features on the DVD).

(and tonight I'l see something entirely different with my husband, The Sentinel, with Michael Douglas and Kiefer Sutherland. Oh, and I guess with one of those Desperate Housewives actors too, not that I have or ever will watch that show. Tomorrow night I'm going with friends to see Eeny Meeny (2000), a Czech comedy that's part of a Central European Film "Festival" they're having at our Metro Cinema).

More films part 1...

Last week my husband and I went out to see the "World's Hottest Commercials" at the Garneau Theatre, which is "a compilation of the winning TV commercials chosen at the annual Clio Awards" and a fund-raiser for the Edmonton International Film Festival. This review from the Edmonton Sun brings up the excellent point that if all TV ads were this entertaining, there wouldn't be the problem of people trying to avoid them all the time. The humourous ones usually seem to get the best response, but I also really enjoy the cultural insight provided by seeing ads from different places... too bad in that respect that they mostly seem to be American these days (a few years ago there were a lot more from other countries). Other thoughts I had:

1) I'm guessing public drunkenness must be a problem in Thailand such that they need public service ads to address the issue (which were quite amusing actually).

2) After the Adidas basketball player who was in 3 ads (sorry, don't recognize many basketball players), the next most frequently used "celebrity" would have been Lance Armstrong in two Nike ads ... I guess he's going to be around for a long time even though he's now retired from cycling (though these ads would have been from 2005/2004 when he was still riding). (OT - interesting article about US cycling after Armstrong in the Financial Times )

3) Amusing that the Citroen ad was done by a Vancouver ad agency - don't think there are too many Citroens sold in Canada (and definitely no TV ads for them that I've ever seen).

Proof I was influenced by Kids in the Hall

A month or more ago, I was referring to someone as "evil" (I think because they were teasing me incessantly), and suddenly realized it was probably a throwback to my days of watching Kids in the Hall (rather than any reference to good versus evil in a philosophical or religious sense; nor to George W. Bush's "axis of evil", attributed to the Canadian speech-writer David Frum).

KITH was a Canadian comedy troupe that had a TV series from 1988-94 (ie., my formative young adult years) and was probably the start of my tradition of watching various comedy shows on CBC (22 Minutes, Air Farce, Rick Mercer). There was a series of sketches on the show about the "Pit of Ultimate Darkness", where the host Sir Simon Milligan and his manservant Hecubus would do things that really weren't all that bad, yet were so proud of themselves for their evilness. There's a transcript of one of the sketches here, but I think you have to see the actual sketch to really get it...

Anyway, today I was reading the paper and came across an article about US Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, similar to this article, but the headline in the Journal was "6 Retired US Generals want Rumsfeld gone" - the first thing that popped into my head was the recurring KITH sketch "30 Helens Agree"

30 Helens Agree was a sketch featuring 30 women supposedly named Helen who would all agree on something ridiculous or arbitrary. For example, "Thirty Helens agree: If you have a good idea, you should write it down."

(my scary revelation for the day about the influence of pop culture I guess - probably why I don't watch much TV anymore)

Films - down to just the notes now

Okay, so my goal to post my thoughts on one film a day (as mentioned previously) didn't last at all...

so here are the rest of the notes I made back in January, in note form because otherwise they'll never end up here. I apologize in advance for any spoilers (not really any big ones I don't think).

Hable Con Ella (Talk To Her) 2002 - directed by
Pedro Almodóvar.
-Themes of love, loyalty, friendship (however atypical or unlikely the circumstances); emphasizing the borderline of what's considered "right" and "wrong"; amusing that Benigno gives advice because of his "experience with women" (his only experience really is with his mother previously who was ill, and Alicia who is in a coma) - yet he's likely right with a lot of what he said (you have to talk to them = women), but applying his advice to those who are comatose is a surreal.

Der Krieger und die Kaiserin (The Princess and the Warrior) 2000 - directed by Tom Tykwer (and he was involved with the music for the film as well, which I thought was interesting).
-points out how it is hard to leave what is familiar to do something for yourself - in this case for Sissi the familiar was caring for others (even if it was overattachment to the point of being somewhat bizarre)
-similarities to my own personal situation - letting patients get too attached/too dependent when I started off in practice and hard to change that later when I tried.
-Sissi quite naive to expect that something will happen just because you want it to (eg. not understanding Bodo's rejection of her initially)
-the tracheotomy reminded me of an episode of ER where George Clooney's character saved a kid's life in a drainpipe ... somewhat overdone (not sure which came first, the ER episode or the film ... now that I think of it, I wondered the same thing about another Tykwer film "Run Lola Run", whether it came before or after an X-Files episode it reminded me of).

Adaptation 2002 - directed by Spike Jonze
-I could relate somewhat to the anxieties of screenwriter Charlie Kaufman in the film
-liked the quote from Douglas Kaufman, "You are what you love, not what loves you"
-(spoiler) at the end, I thought all the sudden action was actually Charlie's brother's screenplay somehow rather than "real".

Diarios de motocicleta (The Motorcycle Diaries) 2004
-interesting to see the South American scenery
-also interesting having been to Cuba in 2004 (and wanting to go back to Havana for a longer visit someday) - learned Cuban history from a different viewpoint then including a better understanding then who Guevara was (the movie was about his earlier life).
-Guevara seemes so frail and slight in the movie, compared to the "larger than life" figure he seems to have become.
-interesting how he was trying to be like the common people, for example, at the leper colony, and giving money to the mining couple.
-his loyalty was prominent, such as to his girlfriend (until she dumped him via letter).
-on a side note, anything about Cuban history (eg. Bay of Pigs, Cuban Missile Crisis) was always portrayed in school as the "bad communists" taking over; whereas in Cuba it was more the long struggle for independence, first from the Spanish then from the American influence, and that Castro was the only one who allowed the Cubans to achieve independence. Not that I'm a Castro supporter, but interesting the different points of view there can be...

Pride and Prejudice 2005
-I had to go see this, because the novel is one of my all-time favourite books and Jane Austen one of my favourite authors (yeah, I was probably the only one in my high school and university English classes who actually enjoyed reading it).
-compared to the prior mini-series, this film version had good flow and good action - good editing/screenplay writing to cut out extraneous parts of the book
-the dancing/ballroom scenes were really neat IMO
-quite romantic overall - definitely "chick flick" category
-at a younger stage of my life I probably would have ended up like Jane - too quiet, not making my liking/affection well-known and having others misinterpret that I wasn't interested (but now I'm more assertive and open, not so introverted :-) - and married, so it doesn't really make a difference in the sense of Jane in the movie anyway).

Whew. I think I even missed a few that I didn't make notes on. Maybe I'll get around to them in the summer or something ...

I feel like a real cyclist now...

fell off my bike near the end of a really good ride on Saturday, first time out this spring and managed to avoid problems with all the gravel on the roads still and all the cars who aren't used to seeing cyclists out yet, then crashed in front of the house next door to ours. I went over the handlebars I think, hit my head (yay for helmets!), shoulder, elbow, both knees, bent my glasses out of shape, and gashed my knee pretty good.

So, I got to experience the other side of the health-care system. The wait in Emergency isn't as long as all my patients seem to tell me, when you go early evening on a Saturday after a really nice day (i.e., not a time anyone really wants to go see a doctor) - just over 2 hours from when we arrived to when we left. The resident and attending physician were initially concerned that perhaps the laceration had gone into the bursa above the knee, but determined that it hadn't. I got 6 stitches and my tetanus booster (at least I won't have to concern myself with arranging to get that updated later this year now). And my training for the Coronation Triathlon in less than 2 months is on hold for at least a week or two... (which sucks because I had just finally got myself really motivated to start training lots, it finally felt like spring).

So, now 2 days later I'm really stiff and sore, and headachy - weird pressure feeling in my head, feels kind of fuzzy at times, had the afternoon off work anyway so I took a nap, headache got worse trying to sing at my choir rehearsal tonight so I left early ... nothing really severe, but just kind of irritating that I don't feel "right". Hopefully it all settles down in a few more days :-)

(and to put things in perspective, at least it wasn't like pro cyclist George Hincapie whose handlebars broke off in the Paris-Roubaix classic race this weekend, leaving him with a shoulder separation; or Saul Raisin, a young American pro cyclist who crashed last week and is currently in a coma...)

A book that made me think a lot ...

about a number of issues (which to me, means it's a good book - that, and it had an emotional impact):

Middlesex, by Jeffrey Eugenides (2002) - reviews on about.com and salon.com

The book is the story of Calliope/Cal Stephanides, who has 5-Alpha-Reductase deficiency (no that's not a spoiler, it's in the very first paragraph of the book), so was brought up as a girl until his true condition was discovered when he was fourteen. This would be considered an intersex condition: "a person born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male".

Part of the story was about Cal's rebellion against the "typical" medical treatment, which would involve surgery for him to "look like a normal girl" (never mind that his chromosomes were XY = male). This would be the sort of treatment we learned about in medical school for such conditions, and I never really thought about it further or about the impact on the people involved. There is apparently lots of debate these days about whether such surgery is appropriate, as technically most of it would be considered cosmetic/not medically required, and it may in fact have adverse effects in terms of sexual functioning.

This made me think of similar controversies in other areas of medicine, such as cochlear implants to "cure" deafness - except that many in the deaf community don't consider it a condition that needs to be cured. Or even routine circumcision, a procedure I deliberately never learned, even though several of my colleagues offered to teach me when I used to deliver babies - I was happy to refer my patients elsewhere for this if a parent wanted it for their son, but really didn't want to do it myself. The whole idea of "what is normal?" and who gets to decide this fascinates me - at work I often see the things we do to conform to society's norms (or what we perceive as society's norms), ranging from cosmetic surgery to eating disorders to suppressing our emotionality to workaholism ... some things relatively harmless, others quite harmful.

And then today, there was this article in our local paper (had to find a link that wasn't subscriber-only), about the Bedouin tradition of marrying cousins and the genetic anomalies and rare genetic diseases that have resulted. (That was part of the story as well, Cal's family history and how the genetic condition came about). They have been doing some work in terms of prenatal diagnosis with the Bedouin in Israel and Gaza, to allow for termination of pregnancies where severe conditions are diagnosed prenatally. Technology is at a point where for some conditions we can even select a non-affected embryo (preimplantation genetic diagnosis) before in-vitro fertilization to prevent the need for later termination of the pregnancy - and the question arises as to how far we should go?

But overall, I just enjoyed the story (certainly not typical or "mainstream") and the writing in the book - riveting enough that I stayed up late to finish reading it after spending most of the afternoon and evening reading. Thanks to Chris for the recommendation :-)

Spring is finally here (I hope)...

Although spring "officially" started on March 20, that was only 2 days after we had a record snowfall for March, so it really didn't feel like spring at all. This week, though, we've had consistently above-freezing temperatures during the day and the snow has pretty much all melted off the roads (and most south-facing yards). I think it was Wednesday when it was really bright and sunny in the morning and I thought to myself, "could it be that spring is finally here?" (you learn not to get overly hopeful living in Edmonton, there's always the possibility of April or even May snowstorms).

I was able to go out for a really great run today (great in terms of weather and motivation - sunny and +10 C, maybe not so great in terms of running as I was over 40 minutes for 5 km). Now if only the city would clean the sand off the streets soon so I can ride my bike without fear of skidding into traffic ...